Can we chat for a second about getting older and living “healthy”? Apparently my body did NOT get the memo that these days it seems I’m working out more regularly than I ever have AND eating better and she needs to follow suit by dropping some lbs. I’m ready for my heavenly body now, guys. This earthly shell is getting doughier by the minute and it’s highly irritating.
I’m at the point where I’m about to go to the store and purchase some sort of drinking vinegar. Ya’ll. Vinegar is for those people that make homemade cleaning products. Apparently apple cider vinegar not only cleans your countertops, it also cleans your insides. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It SEEMS as though I’m going to be drinking cleaning products. Desperate times.
I’m so over it. I’m over my jeans cutting into my roly poly stomach. I’m over the scale not moving. And I am SOOOOOO over skinny jeans being in. When can these sausage casings go out of style? For the love, give me pants that don’t leave a seam line down my entire leg! Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so.
So this is where I’m at, guys. I’m drinking cleaning products and I’m going to have to eat vegetables. Like actual vegetables. This means not ordering salads with bacon, egg, cheese, nuts, and dried fruit as toppings. What is my life? Why can’t I eat cheese AND have my pants fit? My body has decided it hates all the things that make me happy. She can be such a punk sometimes.
So if you see me in the near future and I seem mildly volatile, it’s because I’m drinking cleaning solution, eating green things, and avoiding sugar. Sugar from the cane God created. Maybe heaven will be paved with streets of gold and lined with sugar cane. Sigh…a girl can dream.