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new car

Black Beauty. Ya’ll. The hubs gets major brownie points for pulling off this surprise. In full disclosure, I knew I would be getting a new-to-us car soon. (Doesn’t “new-to-us” sound so much better than “used”? I think so.) We’d been saving for a while and I figured it would be sometime in 2015, but that sly dog beat me to the punch and surprised me the day after Christmas!

I’ve never really thought of myself as a car person. I’ve never been super picky about the car I drive, which is probably why I drove the Green Monster for so long. That and we didn’t have the money for a new car. Minor detail. So I’ve never necessarily cared what kind of car I drove, except I didn’t want to drive a Mom-mobile A.K.A. a minivan. I used to be one of those moms who scoffed at the minivan. I swore up and down that that was the one car I would never drive. Then I had to rent one for a week and a half while my car was in the shop several years ago and let me tell you…it was pretty much awesome. I hated that I loved it. So I’m a minivan convert. It’s fine. I live in the suburbs. People expect that from the moms in the suburbs. Alas, now my kids are older and bigger and capable of getting in and out of the car on their own so I feel like we missed the boat on the mini. If only I hadn’t been so proud I could’ve enjoyed many years of blissful sliding doors that open and close with a touch of a button. Sigh.

All About Amenities

Now, would I trade Black Beauty for a mini? No chance. Since I have driven the Green Monster for the last 8 years, Black Beauty might as well be a space ship. She has a camera in the back to warn me if I’m about to run over/into something. She has plugs, like real outlets, on the inside. The cupholders abound! She has buttons that don’t have the numbers rubbed off. Ya’ll, she has a working speedometer! As a matter of fact, ALL her gauges work! Can you even imagine?! I can drive and know exactly how fast I’m going! It’s genius!

I do, however, get the feeing that Black Beauty knows her new owner is not quite up to snuff. Sometimes I feel like I should be showered and dressed in real clothes when I drive her. Like if I try to get in with just my pajamas on she might judge me. She expects more from me. She’s all Target and I’m all Walmart, I get it. I’m an imposter. I’m used to janky cars. I’m comfortable with janky, because there’s no worry I’m going to break something or get it dirty. It’s already been done. Basically I’m accustomed to driving an old shoe. It’s good and broken in, already scraped up and it might have just a slight odor. I’m trying my best to turn over a new leaf. I always said my next car was going to be my “Do Over” car. By that I mean, we will treat the new car with respect and not act like wild animals that hoard everything they own in their car. So far so good. If this tells you anything, she’s only 2 weeks in my possession and already had a car wash. I’m pretty sure the Green Monster got car washes bi-annually. The kids love the new-to-us car so they are doing a good job of keeping it relatively clean and taking out anything they bring in. My daughter told me the only things missing from the new car were sliding doors. So pretty much this car would be cooler if it were a minivan. Sorry to disappoint, KK. The girl loves a minivan.

The Bittersweet Goodbye

Saying goodbye to the Green Monster wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. We had lots of laughs and good times in that beast. Trips we’ll never forget. Speeds we’ll never know. And I do wonder if anyone will ever be able to get the melted sucker off the carpet of the trunk. Fun little surprise for the new owners. I’m sure I’ll be receiving a thank you note any day. But think of it like this, have you ever said goodbye to your garbage can? It was kind of like that.

So thanks for letting me introduce Black Beauty here on the bliggidy-blog. Don’t worry, I’m still holding sold-out concerts in the new ride. I’ve had a touch of laryngitis over the holidays so I had to cancel a few performances, but I’m back, baby. And this time I’m #backinblack.


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